New Web Address!

Word up?

I am converting. Why not?

Here is my new home:

http://bostonfound.wordpress.com

Again, that is

http://bostonfound.wordpress.com

Hope to see you there!

lexi

Good Intentions

I was gonna write a blog tonight. But not I'm just tired. Lots to tell and do tomorrow!

Hope to see you here.

lexi

An Experiment, of sorts

Reading lyrics to songs makes me want to write. Write like I used to. When I would put my feelings to words, and the words would put feeling to themselves. There was a time when I was aware of what emotions I was feeling. A time when it was at least tempered if not filtered. And that time saw endless ups and downs, but at least they were marked clearly. And some of it embarrassed me, and some I won't permit you to see...but it was me. It was raw and unchanged. And it gave me a sense to make sense of this rage and now I can't find it, it's difficult to see because it's been so long that I long to be me. And what of this confusion? Confused I can't be. But the record keeps playing, what used to be me. And the sound of the lyrics is haunting my dreams and I can't keep the writing from coming in screams. There's no need to appease this beast that's in me, but it's me that I long for and me I can't see. Now the writing is coming and it's taunting in jest, but i like that it's flowing-I don't need any rest. Cause the moment is here now, and release is in sight, cause there's no other way to be fighting this fight and if you try to stop me, I'll bulldoze you down, cause the lost isn't lost now and I have been found.

Now on to the next verse, and on to the ground, there's no turning back...there's no slowing down. The only way is through, cause I've been around, and it always ends up that I'm not up, but down. And the fact that it's round, and the clown isn't brown, and now what I'm writing to you seems unsound. But it's real, can't you see it? The words are alive. And just try, can't you breathe it? It leaves in a sigh. Such a marvelous feeling, the escape of the kept, no longer hiding, no longer swept- By the winds and the rains and the fairytale songs. But out it keeps drawing and it's drawing you along. But it's okay to feel it. It's fine to be lost. Nope, there's no way to kill it, for you've counted the cost. And to stop now, oh now, would be a mistake. You signed on the line and accepted the stakes. So keep on to the third, I promise a prize. But you'll never find it if you look with your eyes...

Alas, to the third verse. And what, you discover? There's no need to brood. There's no need to hover. You're closer than ever, just reach our your arm. That's it, you feel it. No call for alarm. The freedom. You taste it? It's ever so true. It belongs to me... I belong to you. So, come, let us share it, there's more than enough. This freedom is tested. This freedom is tough. But it comes with a price that is higher than most, and I don't mean to boast, but here comes a toast: I've done it, my love. I've found it again. The joy that overcomes when I'm strapped with a pen. And the, feeling's momentous, I don't want to let go. But I know there are others who're part of this show. But, the last words, I'll end on, boy they'll be a treat. I only wish, this was put, to a beat...


To the one who is true, and the one whom I love, this toast is for you, from your only dove.

Weigh In

Read:

"How can we convince them to take the medicine if we can’t convince them they are sick? Sin destroys…that is part of our message."

I saw this quote in response to another blog.

From any corner, view and issue you want to take it from, tell me your thoughts on this quote.

I'll blog about it in a few days myself.

An email I recieved

*The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher *
*

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself,
but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade
classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few
sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually,
show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of
fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or
limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing
kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to
laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a
sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed
like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there.. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.

How He loves us

This has been my jam all day. Praise God! I really enjoy these lyrics.

Oh How He Loves Us–Jesus Culture

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
I realize just how beautiful you are
And how great your affections are for me

And oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so

Yeah He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves

We are His portion, and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking
So Heaven meets Earth like a sloppy, wet kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way
He loves us

---

Mornin'

Top o' the Mornin' to ya!

Hey there, faithful readers. I am sorry for making all of you go without for so long.

Hope I didn't come off as depressed or crazy. But if I did, at least the crazy part's true.

Anywho, every since I began going to 7am prayer Tuesdays and Thursday, I have been getting woken up early. I mean, God is taking this whole, making me into a Proverbs 31 woman seriously.

I did not set an alarm for this morning, and yet, 8am sharp, who's up? Yep. Me! Um, Jesus...it's Saturday. But, I feel rested, and that is all I really need.

But I wake up with the Spirit of God around me. I can feel Him trying to get closer to me. And I love that. I love that, as soon as I wake, my God is there beside me, and my spirit eagerly desires to commune with Him.

This morning I woke with these lyrics in my mind: I am desperate, desperate, for more of You. And I can't wait another, day to see You move. How my heart is hungry, for the chance, to sit at Your feet, and feel Your presence, feel Your presence in the deepest part of me."

And it was followed by this prayer: God, I AM desperate for you. Only you can fill me and never disappoint me. God, I need you right now. I have never before felt this way, never before felt this need for you. I feel like something new has been woken inside of me, and now it won't go away. God, I need only you. Lord, please be my everything, as you've always been, please continue to be. I need you to fill me God. Keep my eyes on you."

I love my Lord. And I can't wrap my mind around Him loving me. In this time of internal chaos, and external storm, I can feel the might of my God. His power has never left me. His Spirit has never forsaken me. His strength is something that I know is real just as much as I am. My God is a consuming fire! His jealousy for me is righteous and loving. No greater love has a man than to lay down his life for his friend. I know of no other, no not another, king like my King, Jesus.

Thanks for reading this, hope it encourages you. Seek His face. Pray for more. He will deliver, and whatever wait or trial, would have been worth it.

"You are clothed with splendor and majesty. He wraps Himself in light, as with a garment." Psalm 104

Today

This morning, my God woke me up, as He does every morning.

But this time, I think it was to spend some time with me. To give me a little extra for today.

And now, I realize why. Instead of focusing on my love for my Lord, I had wandering eyes, and my steadfast heart wavered a little.

Even though I've memorized Proverbs 4:23 "But above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.", I did poorly in my application of it.

I thank God that my 'crush' was shared with a godly man. Someone who did not take advantage of it. After consulting with others, and praying about it he's decided to not pursue anything, and I agree.

But it does hurt a little. Should it? I don't think so. I let my guard down. Opened myself up to dwell on things I was not, am not, ready for.

So, today, I hope it's okay, to cry a little cry for you.
And, today, I hope it's okay, to shed a few tears for us too.
For tomorrow, it's easy to say, that God's will is where I'll go,
But, please, today, I hope it's okay, to let me feel this sorrow.

Well, today, it may be okay, to look forward and move ahead.
But, tonight, when I'm away from light, and snuggled in my bed,
And, this eve, as I float between, sheet and comforter warm,
that tonight, it will be alright, and I will be unharmed by this storm.

You know, today, I don't feel okay, my shaky hands are a sign,
That, last night, I took it not slight, that you just might be mine.
And, so soon, this afternoon, reality came cold and wet,
that, tonight, I hope it's alright, if I shed a few tears in your stead.

So, today, I hope it's okay, to cry a little cry for you.
And, today, I hope it's okay, to shed a few tears for us too.
For tomorrow, it's easy to say, that God's will is where I'll go,
But, please, today, I hope it's okay, to let me feel this sorrow.

*I'll miss you* (^_^)

To-Do

1. I need to study for my Physics test on Monday.
2. I need to to laundry.
3. I need to do my Physics Homework.
4. I should probably, sometime this year, get around to cleaning my room.
5. I need to do more quiet time.
6. I gotta get a money order.
7. Need to make some dinner.
8. Need to clean the sink in the bathroom.
9. Gotta take the trash, too.
10. Should do my LON-CAPA Pre-Lab.
11. It'd be a good idea to call my mom.
12. Need to check myself, cause I'm losing it.
13. Gotta potty. :P
    

Oh, I ache.

Today, upon sitting up in bed, I was immediately informed that I was sore all over.

My arms, abs and legs all protested as I stood up.

Boy, I have no idea why I'm so sore. I can only think that Sensei worked us really hard in class Friday...but I also did Karate for 4 straight days, instead of twice with a day in-between.

But,

I also ache for my Lord.

How He must have felt when God turned his face away. How He must have ached.

I thank my King for being willing to withstand my torture for me. With no thought of His own comfort.

Thank you, King, for trading your life for mine. I was unworthy then, and I am even more unworthy now.

Humbly, I bow before the throne that is established in love, where a man sits on it in faithfulness.

I look forward to the return of my Lord, but only after his will has been accomplished on this Earth.

Celebrate!

HE is RISEN!

Birthday Celebration Dinner!

I had such a great time celebrating with the best people tonight!

We went to Applebee's and had a blast.

Those who went were:
Arthur, Alyssa, Quentyn, Derek, Susan, Ross, Grace, Roberto, Joel, Afrika, Lashad, Rajat, Kelsey, Josh, me, Justin, Niegel, Dena, and I think one or two others.

We had a cute waiter who kept winking at everyone, but was good otherwise.

The food was great and I have leftovers. Susan paid for my food.

I had 2 drinks: a Main Street margarita and a Jack and Coke (first whiskey ever). I only paid for one drink.

I laughed a lot. Susan laughed at me a lot.

I got to hold a baby in the bathroom.

I got a free birthday sundae.

I am blessed to have wonderful people to share my life with. Thank you, Lord, for these precious gifts. I love them all, amen.

I have had a wonderful week. I celebrated my birthday, literally, for a week.

And Shanna Miller is taking me to hang out after church tomorrow.

Score!