I must have absolutely lost my mind to trust something I cannot see.
To continue to try to build with someone who is taking others away.
To expect an embrace from someone I say no to.
To feel anger towards someone who never provoked me.
I must be crazy.
To allow myself to become so attached.
That it hurts to think of the relationships changing.
That it feels like they were a failure.
As if they never happened.
And still expect that someone to look out for me.
Yeah. I have definitely lost it.
To feel anger. Such anger. Such abandonment.
And still try to hang on.
Why go deeper?
Why make memories?
Why care?
When it'll all be waste a year from now?
Well, obviously, I don't believe that.
That's why I trust. And build. And respond. And allow the anger to dissipate.
Because I believe in the one I can't see.
And I still know that he knows the best for me.
But shoot. His timing so sucks.
Friday, November 13, 2009
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1 comment:
thanks for posting what is on everyone's mind. yes, a campus minister's mind at that too.. lol. you're real and that's what i like about you. as for the frustration. so there is life :) you're strong lexi. keep it up. keep loving and reaching. God certainly loves you for it!
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