So, while on only day one of fasting, I was at work and God gave me a somewhat entertaining analogy. So, I'm sitting down, putting pipet tips in holders before autoclaving them (sorry, lab nerd jargon) and I have been slowly trying to make my left hand more dexterous. Anyway, I am fumbling, trying to get these little plastic pieces into holes with my left hand, thinking "I just gotta figure out how to get my left hand to do what I want it to do" and God told me this:
Sometimes, this is how I feel with my children.
*WHOA* Crazy thought right?
Here's what I got from that. Some of us, are like God's right hand, we always do what He wants, and we do it efficiently and smooth. But others, we are like His left hand. Which He uses, but is still trying you to get to do exactly what He wants done. Are we the left hand that just get the job done but a little sloppily? Do we skip a tedious task just to finish quicker? Are we short-handing God? Are we the hand that He can't always depend on, because sometimes we just don't get it?
Well, I am. At least, I was. I am now striving much harder to do the will of my God immediately and proficiently. I take Ezekiel 12:6 as my own : So I did as I was commanded. What a simple, yet ridiculously challenging verse.
I challenge you saints today- Do as you are commanded. Be God's right hand man (or woman). Stay in His will and love like no one's business.
I love you all.
In Christ,
lexi
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Dream? Not so much...
So, had a couple crazy dreams last night, only one of which seems even remotely spiritual, and that is the one I will write here.
Scene:
So, I am in my apartment, alone. It is dark and just overall gloomy outside, maybe even storming. Anyway, there is this man, dressed in dark colors, standing outside of my sliding glass doors. I know that he is a stalker. And not a 'let's have babies together stalker'. But a, ' if I ever get my hands on you I am going to kill you slowly' stalker. So moving on, this guy is standing outside of my back door and he is completely scaring me. And, I don't know if he says it or what, but he tells me something like, "If you think I'm scary, wait until you meet my brother."
I go in my bedroom and close my door, as if that will keep him out.
So, next day (or whatever) I have notified the proper authorities that there is a man who knows where I live that is stalking me. They send someone and there is a lady security person outside of my front door with a podium. The original stalker guy comes to my front door and the security lady tells him that he has been identified as a stalker and cannot get into my house. At this point, I know he is outside and I am hiding behind my couch. (There are 2 couches parallel to each other.) After a few minutes, he charms her and she lets him in, and they sit on the couch and start to chat. I am pushing myself so far into the couch that I have almost become the couch. So, I move to behind the other couch in my apartment, incredulous that the lady let this psycho in my house. But there was no way I was allowing him to know that I was home.
At this point, I wake up and am told to say out loud, "I rebuke the spirit of fear." But I don't. Instead, I go back to sleep. I do not have the dream again.
End.
So, a few things that I picked up on:
I am scared of something.
I am helpless in the dream.
I employ the help of unreliable, unprotective security.
Jesus told me to do something, and I did not.
If anyone can give me any more insight into the message that was my dream, it is greatly appreciated.
Love you all.
lexi
Scene:
So, I am in my apartment, alone. It is dark and just overall gloomy outside, maybe even storming. Anyway, there is this man, dressed in dark colors, standing outside of my sliding glass doors. I know that he is a stalker. And not a 'let's have babies together stalker'. But a, ' if I ever get my hands on you I am going to kill you slowly' stalker. So moving on, this guy is standing outside of my back door and he is completely scaring me. And, I don't know if he says it or what, but he tells me something like, "If you think I'm scary, wait until you meet my brother."
I go in my bedroom and close my door, as if that will keep him out.
So, next day (or whatever) I have notified the proper authorities that there is a man who knows where I live that is stalking me. They send someone and there is a lady security person outside of my front door with a podium. The original stalker guy comes to my front door and the security lady tells him that he has been identified as a stalker and cannot get into my house. At this point, I know he is outside and I am hiding behind my couch. (There are 2 couches parallel to each other.) After a few minutes, he charms her and she lets him in, and they sit on the couch and start to chat. I am pushing myself so far into the couch that I have almost become the couch. So, I move to behind the other couch in my apartment, incredulous that the lady let this psycho in my house. But there was no way I was allowing him to know that I was home.
At this point, I wake up and am told to say out loud, "I rebuke the spirit of fear." But I don't. Instead, I go back to sleep. I do not have the dream again.
End.
So, a few things that I picked up on:
I am scared of something.
I am helpless in the dream.
I employ the help of unreliable, unprotective security.
Jesus told me to do something, and I did not.
If anyone can give me any more insight into the message that was my dream, it is greatly appreciated.
Love you all.
lexi
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
It has just come to my attention...
...that this fight is raging now as much as in the days of the first apostles. And, if called to do so, it can be a fight to the death.
Ross Middleton's blog speaks of some organic Jesus freaks imprisoned for their faith. Read, pray and exercise any influence you have.
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this is mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
-Ephesians 6:18
lex
Ross Middleton's blog speaks of some organic Jesus freaks imprisoned for their faith. Read, pray and exercise any influence you have.
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this is mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
-Ephesians 6:18
lex
Friday, September 12, 2008
Who are you? Part II
Where are you finding your identity?
Do you love your family and friends more than you love God?
Friends: Proverbs 12:26-A righteous man is cautious in friendship
1 Corinthians 15:33-Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."
In our circles, we should "Be a thermostat and not a thermometer." Set the temperature, don't confirm it.
Galatians 1:10 question, who are we trying to please, God or man? We are responsible for ourselves now.
Family: The 10 Commandments were written in a certain order, first to obey God, and then to honor our parents. Amy brought up that there is a big difference in honoring (respecting, serving, loving, being there for) our parents and pleasing them.
Moral: Don't live your life to constantly please people, Jesus didn't. John 5:1-9 Jesus upset, likely, the same religious leaders who he had studied under.
Quote time: "Any dead thing can go with the stream, but it takes a living thing to go against it."
Do you love yourself more that you love God? Do you try to meet your own standards first or God's standards? 1 Corinthians 8:6 encourages us not to live for ourselves, but for Jesus.
Romans 12:3
Psalm 139:14 - We have been MADE, we were created. Be identified by the one who created you.
How to practically find your identity in Christ:
1. Look at your state before God. Do you know God as well as He knows you?
2. Understand how much God loves you.
3. Read the Bible-know what God says about you.
4. Believe what God says about you. It is first a choice, and then a reality. The Epistles encourage us to TAKE HOLD of the promises of God.
Then our sons in their youth
will be like well-nurtured plants,
and our daughters will be like pillars
carved to adorn a palace.
Amy broke down the original Hebrew for us.
Sons:
well-nurtured: This means that you are growing, developing, trained.
plants: This says that you are firmly established, fixed in a state of fellowship with God.
Daughters:
pillars: details and proportion depend on your Maker, you are supporters, you unite, you can be leaned on, you cannot stand alone. You are beautiful inside and out, you are made of something more than yourself. when attack comes at you, pillars, it will be in the form or isolation, because a pillar cannot stand alone. Demolishionists target pillars, because if the pillars fall, the whole building comes down. (think about that one for a moment) And pillars, lastly, become monuments, they are still standing long before the rest of the building collapses.
The word pillar, in the original Hebrew, can never be used alone, it must be used in a group, it is not singular.
Identity is so important brothers and sisters, because:
"How you view yourself directly affects who you are, what you will do, and how you will do it."
Do you love your family and friends more than you love God?
Friends: Proverbs 12:26-A righteous man is cautious in friendship
1 Corinthians 15:33-Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."
In our circles, we should "Be a thermostat and not a thermometer." Set the temperature, don't confirm it.
Galatians 1:10 question, who are we trying to please, God or man? We are responsible for ourselves now.
Family: The 10 Commandments were written in a certain order, first to obey God, and then to honor our parents. Amy brought up that there is a big difference in honoring (respecting, serving, loving, being there for) our parents and pleasing them.
Moral: Don't live your life to constantly please people, Jesus didn't. John 5:1-9 Jesus upset, likely, the same religious leaders who he had studied under.
Quote time: "Any dead thing can go with the stream, but it takes a living thing to go against it."
Do you love yourself more that you love God? Do you try to meet your own standards first or God's standards? 1 Corinthians 8:6 encourages us not to live for ourselves, but for Jesus.
Romans 12:3
Psalm 139:14 - We have been MADE, we were created. Be identified by the one who created you.
How to practically find your identity in Christ:
1. Look at your state before God. Do you know God as well as He knows you?
2. Understand how much God loves you.
3. Read the Bible-know what God says about you.
4. Believe what God says about you. It is first a choice, and then a reality. The Epistles encourage us to TAKE HOLD of the promises of God.
- Read into Scripture, don't just read over it.
Then our sons in their youth
will be like well-nurtured plants,
and our daughters will be like pillars
carved to adorn a palace.
Amy broke down the original Hebrew for us.
Sons:
well-nurtured: This means that you are growing, developing, trained.
plants: This says that you are firmly established, fixed in a state of fellowship with God.
Daughters:
pillars: details and proportion depend on your Maker, you are supporters, you unite, you can be leaned on, you cannot stand alone. You are beautiful inside and out, you are made of something more than yourself. when attack comes at you, pillars, it will be in the form or isolation, because a pillar cannot stand alone. Demolishionists target pillars, because if the pillars fall, the whole building comes down. (think about that one for a moment) And pillars, lastly, become monuments, they are still standing long before the rest of the building collapses.
The word pillar, in the original Hebrew, can never be used alone, it must be used in a group, it is not singular.
Identity is so important brothers and sisters, because:
"How you view yourself directly affects who you are, what you will do, and how you will do it."
Who are you?
So, I am dedicating this post to the message taught last night at ENCM. The beautiful Amy Middleton spoke about Identity during our ongoing Love Revolution series. Open your eyes, ears and hearts, this message is one for the books.
Amy presented some catchy but true quotes.
"The way you leave one season is how you're going to enter the next."
"The grass is not greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it."
Our current society so often speaks of 'finding yourself' or 'defining who you are'. How can you identify something you know so little of? This quote sounds weird, but is simple:
"Trying to identify oneself is like trying to bite one's own teeth."
God identified Jesus before Jesus' ministry even began, right after Christ's water baptism. (Luke 3:21-23)
Jesus identified Simon, by calling him Peter, which means rock, and declaring it into Peter's future. (John 1:40-42)
In the same way, 2 Corinthians 5:17 says that we are a new creation in Christ, so we have to find out identity in Christ.
When identity is found in other things, it leads to insecurities.
Even leading into 'false humilities'. One example of false humility is saying that you are humble but thinking that you are worthless inside. Some characteristics of finding your identity and worth in things other than Christ are: being a people pleaser; having a performance mentality; always needing a boyfriend or girlfriend; being a perfectionist; overly concerned about your looks; fearful of man/unsocial, maybe because you've been hurt in a past relationship.
So that's insecurity, what does security look like?
Security- living according to the reality that God is my hope, security, and identity.
2 Corinthians 5:5-6 says that God gives us His Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.
Here come more quotes: "Men are most endangered when they feel most secure."
"Tell me who you love and I will tell you who you are."
"Your identity changes how you perceive reality."
So, how do I find my identity in Christ? The message is finished in my next blog.
- "How you view yourself directly affects who you are, what you will do, and how you will do it."
Amy presented some catchy but true quotes.
"The way you leave one season is how you're going to enter the next."
"The grass is not greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it."
Our current society so often speaks of 'finding yourself' or 'defining who you are'. How can you identify something you know so little of? This quote sounds weird, but is simple:
"Trying to identify oneself is like trying to bite one's own teeth."
God identified Jesus before Jesus' ministry even began, right after Christ's water baptism. (Luke 3:21-23)
Jesus identified Simon, by calling him Peter, which means rock, and declaring it into Peter's future. (John 1:40-42)
In the same way, 2 Corinthians 5:17 says that we are a new creation in Christ, so we have to find out identity in Christ.
When identity is found in other things, it leads to insecurities.
Even leading into 'false humilities'. One example of false humility is saying that you are humble but thinking that you are worthless inside. Some characteristics of finding your identity and worth in things other than Christ are: being a people pleaser; having a performance mentality; always needing a boyfriend or girlfriend; being a perfectionist; overly concerned about your looks; fearful of man/unsocial, maybe because you've been hurt in a past relationship.
So that's insecurity, what does security look like?
Security- living according to the reality that God is my hope, security, and identity.
2 Corinthians 5:5-6 says that God gives us His Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.
Here come more quotes: "Men are most endangered when they feel most secure."
"Tell me who you love and I will tell you who you are."
"Your identity changes how you perceive reality."
So, how do I find my identity in Christ? The message is finished in my next blog.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Lately...
So, this is not a post about my undying lust for a husband. It is, however, about the different feelings I have been going through lately. So, if you like, MEN, stop reading here. I'm gonna get a little transparent.
As Derek has said, it has been the summer of love for ENCM. And I love seeing people get together, I am a sucker for a cute couple. And in no way am I dissatisfied with my King, but my thoughts have wandered a bit, lately.
Previously, I was under the incorrect assumption that you have to be completely satisfied with God before He would put you in a relationship, now I know better. Anyway, on to more important tangents, I have a problem that I will briefly (ha!) share with you.
So, I met a guy over summer who is pretty set on being with me. He has told me, and I quote, "I will wait years, if I have to. I want to call you 'Sweetheart'."
So, only a few problems with that, um, I am not, as far as I see it, in any position to be married, and he, at this point, cannot be my spiritual leader. Another problem, I want to be someone's sweetheart, and I just about melt when he says it. Does he know this, no, but I have told him before to stop calling me anything other than my name, but every once in a while he will anyway. Lastly, it's not that I'm not attracted to the guy, but IF there were a time for us, it is definitely not now.
And another thing, I get hit on... a lot. And not to brag, because it really makes me uncomfortable. No matter where I go, I am sought out and, like, bothered. The only thing I can think of is that they see the Jesus in me and want that love, but I, personally, cannot deliver it.
It's been a while, and I am beginning to learn about myself. I know my weaknesses and desires. I know that someone calling me sweetheart is going to going bad pretty quickly, I also know that certain ways that men touch me will send me reeling. Not in a "head over heels in love with you because you put your arm around my waist". More like in a "I would like my husband to do that", kind of deal.
Whatever, lately, it's just been crazy. I had someone ask me, "As a Christian, do you go through a million changes every day over relationships and stuff?"
And my response was as true as I could make it, "It's not easy, but I know why I'm doing it. But it is a minute by minute battle sometimes, especially when maternal desires are triggered in me. I want to be a good mother, and a good wife, but first I have to be a good daughter. And I remind myself 'God is not keeping me from something, but for something.' "
So, in conclusion of a ramble, lately, a new desire for someone to lay next to at night has been kindled, and I don't know if it's me or God. I know in part that it is my desire. I know that I desire affection that can be returned with a pure heart, and a clean marriage bed. But I also know that I want to do crazy stuff all around the world and the country before I have obligations such as a husband or children. How do I reconcile that with God's time line, which is definitely not my own?
Prayer, please, saints. I love all of you and you are all forever in my prayers. Have a nice night.
lexi
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?-Ecclesiastes 4:11
Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.-Genesis 3:16
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. -Ephesians 5:3
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. -Ephesians 2:10
As Derek has said, it has been the summer of love for ENCM. And I love seeing people get together, I am a sucker for a cute couple. And in no way am I dissatisfied with my King, but my thoughts have wandered a bit, lately.
Previously, I was under the incorrect assumption that you have to be completely satisfied with God before He would put you in a relationship, now I know better. Anyway, on to more important tangents, I have a problem that I will briefly (ha!) share with you.
So, I met a guy over summer who is pretty set on being with me. He has told me, and I quote, "I will wait years, if I have to. I want to call you 'Sweetheart'."
So, only a few problems with that, um, I am not, as far as I see it, in any position to be married, and he, at this point, cannot be my spiritual leader. Another problem, I want to be someone's sweetheart, and I just about melt when he says it. Does he know this, no, but I have told him before to stop calling me anything other than my name, but every once in a while he will anyway. Lastly, it's not that I'm not attracted to the guy, but IF there were a time for us, it is definitely not now.
And another thing, I get hit on... a lot. And not to brag, because it really makes me uncomfortable. No matter where I go, I am sought out and, like, bothered. The only thing I can think of is that they see the Jesus in me and want that love, but I, personally, cannot deliver it.
It's been a while, and I am beginning to learn about myself. I know my weaknesses and desires. I know that someone calling me sweetheart is going to going bad pretty quickly, I also know that certain ways that men touch me will send me reeling. Not in a "head over heels in love with you because you put your arm around my waist". More like in a "I would like my husband to do that", kind of deal.
Whatever, lately, it's just been crazy. I had someone ask me, "As a Christian, do you go through a million changes every day over relationships and stuff?"
And my response was as true as I could make it, "It's not easy, but I know why I'm doing it. But it is a minute by minute battle sometimes, especially when maternal desires are triggered in me. I want to be a good mother, and a good wife, but first I have to be a good daughter. And I remind myself 'God is not keeping me from something, but for something.' "
So, in conclusion of a ramble, lately, a new desire for someone to lay next to at night has been kindled, and I don't know if it's me or God. I know in part that it is my desire. I know that I desire affection that can be returned with a pure heart, and a clean marriage bed. But I also know that I want to do crazy stuff all around the world and the country before I have obligations such as a husband or children. How do I reconcile that with God's time line, which is definitely not my own?
Prayer, please, saints. I love all of you and you are all forever in my prayers. Have a nice night.
lexi
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?-Ecclesiastes 4:11
Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.-Genesis 3:16
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. -Ephesians 5:3
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. -Ephesians 2:10
Monday, August 18, 2008
It's laundry day!
"Blessed are those who wash their robes..."
Haha. Jesus supported laundry. It's not really laundry day, that's tomorrow. The point I'm making is this: Every day is laundry day, every day we need to wash our robes in the blood of Christ and re-shoulder our cross.
My devotional this morning was to find an obscure scripture...didn't work too well, but this was where I turned to.
Anywho, Revelation 7:14-17 promises excellent working conditions for those whose robes are made white in the blood of the Lamb. As a child, I did not understand how something could be washed in red and come out white, didn't make sense to me, and was never fully explained. Now, I know that we're not talking colors here, we're talking appearance before God. It's not possible for a soiled, dirty robe to be washed in red blood, and come out white. But it is definitely possible that a soiled, dirty robe can be immersed and covered in the blood of the pure and perfect Christ and come out without stain.
How?
Glad you asked.
Imagine, if you will, that we are all born with white robes. Every bad thing we do adds a deep, dark stain to our once spotless white robes. Every wandering of the eye, and purposeful evil deed just makes our robes dirtier and dirtier. One day, we realize that our previously beautiful garment is disgusting and it shames us, we are sure that everyone can see our dirt. So we do all we can to cover it up. We try to conceal the stains of our garments with friends with robes darker than ours, we try to just embrace the appearance of our robe by continuing to make it worse, we even try to clean it ourselves-sure that religious rituals will get the job done, that just stepping foot inside a church will clean us up.
Eventually, after all the covering up, ignoring, and futile attempts to clean it ourselves fail, we look for more help. And, voila, the Jesus who has always been there, strong, mighty hand extended, offers a solution. Jesus lived a perfect life, his appearance never marred by evil thoughts or actions. His solution? If you cover yourself in His blood, which was ultimately shed for you, then when God looks at you, God will see you as spotless.
Worth a try, right? Nothing else worked, and this Jesus character seems pretty legit. You hand over your robe, and Jesus literally washes your robe in His own blood. Even more surprising is that, when He hands it back, it's not red, but the whitest white you've ever seen.
Yes, Jesus has done it for countless humans, and He can do it for you, too.
Whether you've known Jesus all your life, have been recently reunited, or you never even met the guy, it's laundry day. Take your robe, which is sure to have some kind of stain on it, to the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2).
Be of the many who "have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb."
Praying to see you at the end of the world blowout.
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)
Amen, Jesus, let it be so.
Haha. Jesus supported laundry. It's not really laundry day, that's tomorrow. The point I'm making is this: Every day is laundry day, every day we need to wash our robes in the blood of Christ and re-shoulder our cross.
My devotional this morning was to find an obscure scripture...didn't work too well, but this was where I turned to.
Anywho, Revelation 7:14-17 promises excellent working conditions for those whose robes are made white in the blood of the Lamb. As a child, I did not understand how something could be washed in red and come out white, didn't make sense to me, and was never fully explained. Now, I know that we're not talking colors here, we're talking appearance before God. It's not possible for a soiled, dirty robe to be washed in red blood, and come out white. But it is definitely possible that a soiled, dirty robe can be immersed and covered in the blood of the pure and perfect Christ and come out without stain.
How?
Glad you asked.
Imagine, if you will, that we are all born with white robes. Every bad thing we do adds a deep, dark stain to our once spotless white robes. Every wandering of the eye, and purposeful evil deed just makes our robes dirtier and dirtier. One day, we realize that our previously beautiful garment is disgusting and it shames us, we are sure that everyone can see our dirt. So we do all we can to cover it up. We try to conceal the stains of our garments with friends with robes darker than ours, we try to just embrace the appearance of our robe by continuing to make it worse, we even try to clean it ourselves-sure that religious rituals will get the job done, that just stepping foot inside a church will clean us up.
Eventually, after all the covering up, ignoring, and futile attempts to clean it ourselves fail, we look for more help. And, voila, the Jesus who has always been there, strong, mighty hand extended, offers a solution. Jesus lived a perfect life, his appearance never marred by evil thoughts or actions. His solution? If you cover yourself in His blood, which was ultimately shed for you, then when God looks at you, God will see you as spotless.
Worth a try, right? Nothing else worked, and this Jesus character seems pretty legit. You hand over your robe, and Jesus literally washes your robe in His own blood. Even more surprising is that, when He hands it back, it's not red, but the whitest white you've ever seen.
Yes, Jesus has done it for countless humans, and He can do it for you, too.
Whether you've known Jesus all your life, have been recently reunited, or you never even met the guy, it's laundry day. Take your robe, which is sure to have some kind of stain on it, to the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2).
Be of the many who "have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb."
Praying to see you at the end of the world blowout.
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)
Amen, Jesus, let it be so.
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